PLEASE READ

im sick of it; trying 2 do something with my long[ish] red hair.. no mater what i try i cant get it right.. i still look normal or like a wanabe.. maybe im looking too hard.. the more i try, the more it makes me hate my appearance.. maybe i need makeup.. [iv never put any on.. my friends arent exactly the type; i only have 1 goth friend and the rest r Orakus or odd normal ppl.. and its not like they can come 2 my house.. my parents r critics and i get complaints out of them enough as it is]
iv been thinking about geting bangs but i think all theyd do would turn into anoying poofey curls, and i dont think theyd help me anyways... so then should i cut my hair short [that would put off some emotional pressure..] but i dont wana streighten my hair every day and what if i dont have the time 2 do that every morning [besides, it frys your hair XP]..

the reson why i want to look the way i am/feel is because im sick of everyone seeing me as a sweetey.. yah, i have the nickname Kitty kuz i can talk n a chibi voice at times.. but... im manic depressive.. so... im sick of showing everyone the :3 me kuz when i show them the X{ me they ask wuts rong when im just acting like me

and if your wondering why it took me so long 2 care about my look.. i got new friends apon entering highschool and thus i "awakened".. so i m awake now.. no more goodey me.. im alive and arent just doing shit to please everyone ;} [the reson why i wasnt before was kuz i was raised by looser parents; thus i WAS a looser; so i wasnt exsposed to fashon nor appearance untill late junior high; ANIME!! X} ] -lol, considering im designing clothing and hair styles now X3